Boys, I have a question for you- what would you do and what would you feel if you saw a teenage girl crying in the corner of the room?
Emotions, really, are just like somewhat-well-integrated different personalities inside a person’s head, triggered by different stimuli – many external, some internal – that drive that person to different thoughts, decisions, actions, and behavior.
Everybody is emotional.
Based on the article written by HealthGuidance, there is a stereotype that girls are much more “emotional” than boys whereas “real man” do not cry or get upset. Unfortunately, society has told teenage boys it is a sign of weaknesses to express their feelings while it is much more socially acceptable for girls to talk about their feelings and focused on their emotions and refer to them more commonly.
“I would talk about my feelings only to my close friends,” said Sreyneang, a high school student from the Liger Leadership Academy. “but most of the time, I keep my emotions to myself.” She added, “And sometimes, If I can, I would express it out publicly.”
Teenage girls are more probable to talk about what they are thinking and feeling and to demonstrate with their tears, facial expressions, hand gestures, and body language.
By personal experience, crying has always been a healthy release and I were not ashamed to cry easily.
Compared to girls, boys often show their emotions to less people, and often only to their nearest and dearest. Boys tend to have a greater control over their emotions and what they will manifest to the world, possibly due to having more difficulty displaying emotion than girls.
Many times, they do not know exactly how they feel, so they try to figure it out on their own, inside their head.
“Yes, sometimes it’s hard for me to understand what I’m feeling.” states, Davith Chan a teenage boy student from Liger Leadership Academy.
Barton GoldSmith, a Ph.D Psychotherapist stated in his article that, “Most men and boys have a hard time communicating anything that remotely resembles an emotion — because emotions are scary to men, who think much more than they feel.”
Boys can not think and feel simultaneously, it is challenging for them to switch gears from their head out to their hearts.
“I can’t switch from heart to brain. It will literally distract my work if I think and feel at the same time.” Davith added.
Davith Chan was asked by a question, “Do you cry?”
He pauses a moment after hearing the question and finally said, “No,” he sighs. “Unlike others, crying isn’t a way to release my stress.”
A follow-up question was then asked, “Well, do you feel comfortable sharing your problems with other?”
“No,” he quickly spokeup. “I don’t want to share my feelings to other because I know they wouldn’t care about my problem. Depends on people, some of them might even judge my problem.” He sight with relief. “But I get stress sometimes when I keep all my problems to myself too much.”
Let’s switch some gear up. If you see a boy friend of yours, or any other random boys crying, what would you feel?
“I would think to myself ‘What happen to him?’ I’m curious for the reason.” Davith put his elbow on the table, palm to his forehead like he was in a thought process. “And I would feel pity for him, you know, no matter what happen. Because sometimes, I cry too.”
The same question was asked to Sreyneang, and she mentioned that it would be awkward for her to see a boy cry for some reason. “It would be weird.” She hesitated. “You know, boy don’t often cry, not that I’ve seen a lot at least.”
This goes back to where society view men as weak if they cry, and yet no one knew where the stigmas originally came from. Where Sreyneang said “boy don’t often cry,” who might have guessed that she heard it from her parents or friends or just random people.
There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you have such a bad luck that you hooked up with one who is emotionally unavailable. And here is an example of what Davith has said, “I’ve made people cry I have to admit that.” He said while nodding his head and gives me that guilty smile. “Like the other times, I made a girl and a boy cry. They were irking me and I was distracted by them and so I yell at them “Shut UP!” very loudly.
As Davith and I were in the middle of the conversation, David Phim, an addicted – teenage gamer boy, interrupted us and said, “Girls easy to get mad,” Davith and I both looked at him in amazement. “Oh! Sorry,” He apologize for interrupting, but I said it was okay and that he could join our conversation.
“[Like I said], girls get mad so easily in general that I[‘ve] experience. Like SOME girls!” David continued with his speech.
According to Thought Catalog article, some of the guys think that girls emotions are crazy and punishing to understand. For example if you are in a relationship: boys see themself as a victim and girls as their attacker; for instance, where girls always get jealous towards other girls and guys for the fact that she have “insecurities”. Boys might also think girls cry far too often, but there’s always a reason, even if it is slightly irrational. This is when girls use the PMS (Premenstrual syndrome) excuse, even if they know, they don’t have it.
It is so difficult being a woman, don’t you think so? You are constantly having some inner battles either with your emotions or with guys.
At this point, Davith joined the discussion again and utters, “Girls cry more because of relationship.” And David, in the other hand, peered at me with a smile on his lips. “Girls have more stories to argue about.” Davith continued, “I don’t know why, but it’s so hard to understand [girls] sometimes.” He shrugged after finishing his sentence.
“Sometimes when I played with girls, [I would] just hit a bit and then [she would] cry.” David mumbled after Davith.
Written by HerWay article, in the topic of “15 Signs Of An Emotionally Unavailable Woman,” the introduction quoted, “It is true that guys have so many problems in relationships with women because we are so complex. There is that saying that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. I think this is true because we definitely don’t think in the same way and we don’t express our feelings in the same way either. Sometimes it is just that obvious that we come from two different planets.”
Moreover, David mentioned, “If couple breakup, boy [would just be] upset [and then] walk away, [but] girl [would] cry and need someone to comfort [to make them feel less lonely]. And I’ve seen [the same thing happen] a lot with my roomates. Man like to stay alone.” He shrugged. “Girl need more caring.”
Davith was looking kind of confused and curious with what David just said. He looks like he wants to disagree with David. “Only for some girls, man, not all!” He finally indicated.
What David mentioned is just another way of saying that girls are emotional and weak. Don’t you think being a teenage girl is very easily judge?
What would you do and what would you feel if you saw a teenage girl crying in the corner of the room?
“I would go and ask her why [she’s crying].” Davith said with no hesitation. “The same as [I would do to] anyone. [He/She] must have a reason of crying.”
“For me I would walk away.” David said while playing on his computer. “I [would feel] pity but I’m not brave enough to go and talk to her. I would let another girl help.”